Repairing A Sexless Marriage
Are you currently in a sexual or intimate rut with your partner? Has your sex life completely halted?
When a relationship is new or in the beginning stages, sex typically isn’t an issue needing attention. After a while, whether it’s simply falling into routines and old habits or a larger underlying issue, the topic of sex becomes a common challenge for many couples.
We’re all bound to go through periods of ups and downs, but you don’t have to live with a sexless marriage. There are ways you can improve your situation in the bedroom.
Start with Open Communication
Communication is foundational for any healthy relationship. This includes having hard conversations, like talking about sex. It may be a more sensitive subject for some compared to others, but it’s one we all need to have.
Sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation about how you’re feeling. Open up about any concerns or emotions you’re having towards this lack of intimacy.
As this can be a delicate subject, you want to be sure to choose the right time and place. You also want to be intentional with your statements. Using “I” statements can help disarm a potentially heated situation.
Assess Underlying Concerns
Before you can start to fix anything, it’s important to uncover what the root cause of the problem is. It could be one issue or multiple small things bundled together.
Some common factors include:
> Health/medical issues
> Depression or anxiety
> Stress or busy schedules
> Conflicts within the relationship
> Unresolved trauma
> Differing viewpoints on intimacy
Reconnect Emotionally with Your Partner
The best way to start is to spend some quality time together. Before you start doing anything physical, focus on rekindling the emotional connection. Our emotional connection is a huge factor in a healthy sex life.
Start going on date nights and reminisce about exciting times or adventures you’ve had. Do activities you both enjoy or rotate bringing each other into a personal hobby that you can share. Find a sense of closeness that may be lacking.
Focus on Physical Touch
As the emotional connection improves, you should hopefully be getting that physical spark going. Physical touch is the love language for many people and should be used to repair sexless relationships.
Start holding hands more. Hug your partner when you see them; we need multiple hugs a day to help achieve a happy and emotionally fulfilled life. If you’re watching your nightly tv or reading a book, cuddle up with each other to do so. Make the little physical gestures more commonplace and automatic.
Explore Sex and Intimacy
Everyone’s sex lives vary on the spectrum of conservative to adventurous. Going back to sensitive conversations, have a discussion with your partner about each others’ sexual desires and fantasies.
This should be a fun exercise and not something that makes you uncomfortable. Be open with each other and don't make judgments.
Maybe you try something new or maybe you bring a new element into the mix. The world of sex is very wide and there’s something for everyone out there.
Make Lifestyle Changes
Stress is a major factor in many physical and mental health issues. It’s safe to say it also contributes to when our sex lives are lacking.
Focus some effort on making changes that will help reduce stress and promote better health and wellness. Work in routine exercise, eat healthy, prioritize sleep, and practice mindfulness exercises.
Seek Professional Support
Being able to navigate repairing struggles with sex can feel daunting and overwhelming. If there are deeply rooted issues that you’ve determined are the culprit, you may need professional guidance to heal from those first before making the desired reparations.
Regardless of the reason behind a current lack of physical intimacy in your relationship, therapy is a great option to work your way to living your best sex life. Whether it’s through individual, couples, or sex therapy, you have options. Contact us to learn more.