What Is Emotional Infidelity?

The idea of cheating can be a rather broad and muddy concept. Since it is such a personal matter, everyone will have a different definition of what it means to them. One thing is certain: most people stand very strongly in their opinions where infidelity is concerned.

Infidelity, when performed in a physical manner, is relatively cut and dry. You engage in physical contact or a sexual affair with another person who is not your partner.

But what about emotional infidelity? This is harder to provide a clear boundary for.

What Is Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional affairs are anything that can pose a threat to your relationship and your partner. You and your partner need to agree about what constitutes emotional infidelity.

Something as minor as a brief exchange on social media could be deemed threatening to your partner. In other cases, it could be a consistent conversational relationship with another.

This can be a difficult subject matter due to very differing opinions. What you feel is inappropriate or threatening may not align with the views of your partner.

Added Challenges in Modern Times

Historically, emotional infidelity was not considered to be as serious of an issue, if one at all. As times have changed, many couples now automatically include any type of emotional connection under the umbrella of cheating. This can be important as we are now privy to a higher number of interactions and relationships within daily life.

There is a huge underlying intimacy component where emotional infidelity is concerned. For some this can be more harmful and hurtful than a physical affair. For the partner involved, it can be harder to cut off and be a much deeper connection comparatively.

The line becomes even more blurred with the additional influence of the digital media age. We now have access to everything, 24 hours a day. It is infinitely easier to form a connection with another person simply by opening our phones. We get intimate access to others' lives via social media platforms. A relationship can form with the click of a button or the like of a post.

Signs of Emotional Infidelity

If you are unsure whether your partner is having an emotional affair, here are some signs to be aware of.

Secrecy

It is completely normal for partners to keep some things to themselves. Open and honest communication is key, but not every last detail needs to be shared all the time.

If you notice, however, that your partner is starting to pull away or keeping specific things private, this could be a red flag. Watch for secrets with their phone usage, with whom they interact, or any online relationships. This may also include unusual social media behaviors.

Longer Work Hours

There will be periods where job demands are higher than usual. Be mindful of your partner spending longer days at work or needing to work at odd hours (unless this is their routine role).

Newly Formed Bonds

Another cause for concern may be if your partner is spending an increased amount of time with a close friend or colleague. It may be that this person comes up more and more during your normal conversations. It might also include a negative comparison of you to this person.

What Comes Next

Emotional infidelity can be tricky in that some engaging in this type of behavior, have no actual intentions of cheating. In other circumstances, emotional infidelity can be a first step to a larger problem like broken trust, a physical affair, or just an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

There is a fine line between acquaintances, friends, and inappropriate relationships. When that line is crossed, the first step is to be able to identify it. The next step is to work on some strategies to either repair the relationship or end it.

Working with a therapist can help you identify any flags and establish the right tools to work through this situation. If you have concerns about your relationship, let’s talk further.